Life Skills
by A. Zap
Summary: When Mabel doesn't show up to help cook dinner, Stan instead takes Dipper under his wing to teach him some cooking and some life lessons along with it. Originally written for scribefindegil and thesnadger's Food and Fluff Anthology.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls or any of its characters. Just let me write fluffy stuff.**

* * *

Life Skills

"Mabel?" Stan called out, peering around the doorway into the living room. Unfortunately, only Dipper was in there, curled up on the armchair flipping through the journal. "Hey, kid, where's your sister?" He asked as he walked towards him. "She promised to help make dinner."

Dipper glanced up at him. "Uh, I think she's still over at Candy's house. Grenda managed to snag more of her mom's romance books, so I'm not surprised it's running long." He shuddered at the thought of having to sit through those books.

"Yeah, I guess." Stan huffed. He rubbed the back of his neck. He'd been hoping to cook with the excitable girl, but it was better for her to hang with her friends. Then a thought occurred to him. "Hey, you wanna help?"

Dipper gave him a confused look. "Uh, why?" He set the journal down though. "I mean, isn't that a girl thing?"

"A girl thing. Really? You're saying that to the guy who does all the cooking around here." Stan raised an eyebrow as Dipper looked down sheepishly. "Come on, you're helping."

Dipper groaned but followed Stan into the kitchen without too much protest.

"Besides," Stan mentioned as he got out the things for the night's meal, "most of those chefs you see on TV are guys."

"I guess." Dipper said as he forehead scrunched up. He looked things over trying to figure out how they were supposed to go together.

"And knowing how to cook means you won't be forced to eat glitter covered food for however long you and Mabel actually live under the same roof." Stan got out an extra-large bowl and two cooking sheets. He nodded to himself. Everything was here.

"Okay. That's a legit reason to learn." Dipper conceded. He knew all too well that in his sister's eyes, food without glitter was a tragedy in and of itself. "So what are you making?"

"It's called chicken turnovers." Stan gestured at the ingredients laid out: canned chicken, cream cheese, crescent rolls, seasoned salt, and parsley. "It's pretty easy so it's good to begin with. Though I'm making a triple batch so everyone can have some and then have leftovers."

Dipper tugged at his hat nervously. "Are you sure you want my help? I mean, I burned instant mac and cheese once."

"Forgot the water?" Stan guessed. At Dipper's nod, he shrugged. "Happens every once in a while. It's a simple mistake. Don't worry, I'll show you the ropes."

"Right."

Stan reached over and grabbed the cream cheese. "So basically for this, you mix the cream cheese and chicken together." After undoing the wrapping, he plopped the cream cheese into the bowl, and then stuck the bowl into the microwave. "It helps if you soften the cheese a bit so it mixes more easily." He punched a couple digits in and hit start.

"Here." He slid the cans of chicken over to Dipper. "Open these and then use the lid to squish down the chicken and drain the juice into the sink."

It took a moment as Dipper fumbled a bit with the tab, but he easily opened the cans and took them over. Following his grunkle's instructions, he blinked in surprise. "Oh, I use the lids to make sure the chicken doesn't fall into the sink."

"Exactly." The microwave beeped and Stan took the softened cream cheese out and gestured for the first can. He fully removed the lid and shook the chicken in. They repeated this two more times. "Get a wooden spoon, would you? I forgot to grab it."

Dipper quickly snatched the spoon from the drawer, and as he came back towards Stan, his great-uncle slid the bowl over to him. "Okay, now stir that together until it's well mixed. If you have trouble breaking up the chicken, just press down on it with the spoon."

Dipper's face scrunched in concentration. It lightened though as he saw the two ingredients easily mix together. He smiled a bit. This wasn't as hard as he thought it would be.

As he did that, Stan cracked open the crescent roll cylinders and unrolled the dough. He separated the pieces so that they formed rectangles. He also reached over to the oven controls and turned it to the correct temperature as well.

"Does this look good?" Dipper held up the bowl for inspection.

Stan gave it a quick look over and grinned. "Good job, kid." He ruffled Dipper's hat since he couldn't get to his hair. "Just one more thing for the filling." He grabbed the seasoned salt and parsley. "You then add this stuff to whatever taste preferences you have. Usually I start out by covering the mix in seasoned salt and just a little bit less of parsley." He made sure to put it in at an angle that Dipper could see what he was doing. Then he mixed it in.

"Is that really enough?" Dipper asked, eyes taking in everything.

"Here. Have a taste; just use your finger to get some." Stan held out the spoon to his nephew.

"Is that okay?" He gave an alarmed look at it.

"It doesn't have raw egg in it and canned meat is pre-cooked. It's fine." Stan gestured the spoon and raised an eyebrow.

Dipper grinned and took a swipe at the spoon. He gave a taste and thought for a moment. "A bit more salt I think."

"Can do." Stan said, putting in another shake.

"What's next?" Dipper said, really getting into it.

"Next we try to divide it evenly on all these crescent rolls. This is the tricky part." Stan squinted at the crescent rolls. His cataracts really didn't help with trying to even things out.

"Can I do it?" Dipper held out his hands to take the bowl.

"Sure, Dipper." Stan said. He handed it over.

It didn't take long for Dipper to divide out the filling. "So now I'm guessing we just close these up?"

"Yep. Grab the corners and try to pinch them together. Then we'll adjust them so they fit on the pans better."

The pair made quick work of that and Stan slid the food into the oven.

"Okay, now we just got to wait 25 minutes for that to bake." Stan tugged off the oven mitts and set them to the side. "Wanna lick the bowl?" He picked up the bowl with traces of the filling in it.

"Uh, not really." Dipper said.

"Suit yourself." Stan shrugged and swiped what he could from the sides and spoon as he placed the bowl in the sink.

"This was a lot easier than I thought it would be." Dipper admitted. He sat at the table to wait. "I mean, Mabel's kind of a natural with this kind of stuff, but I've never really gotten it before."

"If it helps, just think of it as chemistry. Same principle: you mix various things together to create something new from the various parts." Stan grabbed two Pitt Colas from the fridge before making his way over to sit next to his nephew.

"Huh? Never thought of it like that." Dipper took his pop and snapped it open. "Is most cooking like this?"

"Yeah, as long as you've got the basics down, all it comes down to is following the instructions. And with the Internet nowadays, it's incredibly easy to get those." Stan said. "It's better that you learn this stuff now. You're getting to be teenagers; if you guys are anything like me and Ford, you two are going to become black holes when it comes to food."

"Ford ate a lot?" Dipper raised an eyebrow at that.

Stan snorted. "When he remembered to eat. He'd get so caught up in his projects or homework that half the time I had to waft the food under his nose for him to remember. This is also why Ford never really learned to cook; he'd get distracted and forget about it."

"Great Uncle Ford doesn't know how to cook?" Dipper snickered a bit.

"Kid, you've seen what he's willing to eat."

Dipper thought about it for a moment. "I saw him lick a rock the other day."

"Exactly. And he was like that as a kid too. He ate a bug before I did." Stan took a sip of his pop. "Though in general, I mean, he obviously gained a few skills to survive college and live on his own, but it doesn't seem to be much."

"So did you teach yourself how to cook?" A curious glint rose in his nephew's eyes. Stan couldn't blame him. He and Ford didn't really talk much about the past after revealing their backstory.

"Ah, no." Stan said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Actually, Ma taught me. She would say that she'd need help in the kitchen, so I would give a hand."

Dipper smiled at that, but luckily, he kept any smart comments to himself.

"I also picked up a few things while I was on the road." Stan pointed out. "Like if you don't have much money, you can get by on peanut butter and bread for quite a while. Though, you should really try to have at least pasta, eggs, and cheese. Those are the basics for a lot of meals that you can make with just a few additions."

"Really?" Dipper looked intrigued.

"Yep. Actually, the Internet is a great source for that sort of stuff too. There're websites where you can literally put in what's in your fridge and it'll give meal ideas. Or you can look up free recipe books that can help you plan meals if you don't have much in your budget. Use the resources you have." Stan took another sip and checked the timer. There was still some time.

"Also, look at making meals that give you a lot of bang for your buck." He continued.

"What's that mean?" Dipper tilted his head a bit. He had never really put much thought into what effort went into cooking, much less planning for meals. Then again, cooking was one of Mabel's things and she made it look effortless.

"It means that you should try to get as much as you can out of a meal. Look at what we're making right now: it's got meat, dairy, and bread in one sweet package. And don't listen to those kooks, you actually need carbs. They're the things that give you energy." Stan then gestured towards the fridge. "I'm also planning on getting out the applesauce, so we got fruits as well. But anyway, you'll find that it's really filling. So when you don't have much it will fill you up and help you keep going."

"Okay. Are there other foods like that?" Dipper asked.

"Italian food. Basically anything with pasta, as you've probably noticed, is really filling; and if you make something with tomato sauce, you get veggies too."

"Tomatoes are a fruit." Dipper countered.

"It counts as a vegetable in my book, kid. I don't care what those big wigs in Washington classify it as." Stan rolled his eyes. Though his nephew reminded him of himself several times, there were still plenty of ways he reminded him of his brother. "Getting back on topic, you could actually say pizza is the ultimate food since it has all of that."

"Huh." Dipper rubbed his chin. "This is good to know."

"That's not an excuse to just eat pizza by the way." Stan deliberately pointed at Dipper to make his point. "You can't go telling your parents I said you could."

"Aw, man."

"You need to eat more than just one single meal all the time if you can afford it. I mean, don't they teach you all this nutrition stuff in school?" Thinking back on their conversation, Stan realized that his nephew should probably have known at least some of this.

"Yeah, but they don't really go into whys or hows, you know? And they definitely don't teach cooking." Dipper said.

"Oh, yeah, I think Mabel said something about you learning the basics this upcoming school year." Stan said after a moment of thought. Mabel had been really excited about the prospect. She was still planning on putting glitter in everything, no matter her grade.

"This is kinda cool." Dipper said as the timer went off. Stan slipped on the oven mitts and pulled out the chicken turnovers. The crescent rolls were a golden brown color and a bit crispy at the top, which told him they were done.

"See look at them; you did it." Stan grinned as he nudged his nephew. Dipper's smile was bigger than his at his accomplishment.

Just then the front door slammed open. "I'm home!" Mabel called. "What smells so good?"

"Perfect timing." Stan chuckled. "Go drag the nerd from his cave, Dipper." As Dipper rushed off, he yelled for Mabel. "Mabel, sweetie, set the table!"

She bounced into the room. "Oh, I don't think I've ever had that before!" Mabel said as she grabbed plates and silverware. "What's it called?"

"Chicken turnovers." Stan set one of the sheets of turnovers on a hot pad ready to be served and got out the applesauce.

Dipper returned with Ford, who looked over the meal. "Huh, I haven't had this in ages."

"Dipper actually did most of it." Stan said with smile as he served the meal.

"Really?" Dipper tried not to feel insulted by the incredulous looks being sent to him by Mabel and Ford.

"Yep." Stan winked at Dipper as Mabel took the first bite.

"Oh my gosh! This is good!" Mabel said around the food in her mouth.

Dipper smiled as he watched his family dig in. He didn't notice Stan leaning down to whisper in his ear.

"Another lesson when it comes to cooking: it tastes even better when you can share it with those you care about."

The two shared a grin and settled to eat a meal with their family.

* * *

 _AN: Chicken turnovers was always one of my favorite things that my mom would make, and since it's pretty easy, I thought it'd be something great for Stan to teach Dipper if he were teaching him to cook. Anyway, this story was originally written about a year ago when scribefindegil and thesnadger were trying to put together a Food and Fluff Anthology for Gravity Falls on Tumblr. Since it's been a year, that fell through, and it's the time of the year to eat, I decided to post the two stories I wrote for it. Since this one was focusing on cooking, I also included some stuff my mom taught me when we'd cook together. By the way, here's the recipe if you want it:_

Ingredients \- Makes 4 Servings

1 can chicken

1 package cream cheese

1 can crescent rolls

Parsley

Seasoned Salt

1\. Mix together chicken (be sure to drain chicken juice into the sink) and cream cheese, and then add parsley and seasoned salt to taste.

2\. On a cooking sheet separate crescent rolls so you have four rectangles.

3\. Divide mix equally and place on a crescent roll. Fold roll around filling. Pinching the corners on the top helps.

4\. Bake at 350 degrees F for about 25 minutes.


End file.
